


Don't Give Your Heart Away

by MsCaptainWinchester (rons_pigwidgeon)



Series: Don't Give Your Heart Away [1]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Attempted Murder, Bad Things Happen Bingo, Bingo, Demon Peter Parker, Gen, Pre-Slash, Slow Build, Wade Angsts in an Alley, Wade Drinks His Feelings, Wade Wilson Needs A Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-30 21:31:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19411795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rons_pigwidgeon/pseuds/MsCaptainWinchester
Summary: After one epic fuck-up too many, Wade finds himself in a dark alley, drunk, wallowing in his own piss (and probably several decades of other people's). And then a stranger appears out of nowhere and offers to take all his problems away. He has nothing to lose in saying yes, right? Right?





	Don't Give Your Heart Away

**Author's Note:**

> This stories fills the 'Surrender' square on my [Bad Things Happen Bingo](https://badthingshappenbingo.tumblr.com/) card.
> 
> This is the first story in a series loosely based on a comic titled _[Heart in a Box](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23395779-heart-in-a-box)_ by Kelly Thompson. It's excellent. I highly recommend you track it down if you like this series.
> 
> Thank you to darlingestkitten for the beta assist!
> 
> I do not consent to my stories being listed on Goodreads or other book platforms.

“You’re not pissing on my floor again. Find a toilet or get the fuck out. You smell like a sewage pipe, and that’s saying something for you,” Weasel griped, shoving Wade’s shoulder hard enough to knock him off his stool. Wade flipped him off lazily, glaring through blurry, blood-shot eyes as he stumbled away towards the bathroom. But the bathroom was locked, and Wade’s bladder was yelling at him, so he forced his way through the back door into the grimy alley and the rain. 

“Fuckin’ rain,” he muttered under his breath as he pushed down his sweatpants and let the piss flow freely. He pressed his forehead to the water-slick bricks and closed his eyes, but the sharp ache in his heart would not go away. Ellie loved the rain. Somewhere on the other side of the city, Ellie was probably doing her homework at her desk under the window, smiling at the sound of the rain against the glass. Or maybe she was sobbing over her alien boyfriend’s dead body and cursing her deadbeat daddy’s filthy name. 

Wade was probably still peeing as he slumped to the ground in a pitiful heap, not caring who saw him or what he sat in. He was beyond shame. Beyond redemption. He had broken his little girl’s heart, and shredded his own in the process. And the bitch of it all was that he couldn’t even kill himself to make it stop. Fuckin’ immortality. He was going to have to feel this way for the rest of eternity. Fuckin’  _ literal eternity _ .

“Fuckin’ stupid Wade, always fucking everything up. Never deserved that little girl’s love anyway. Never deserve anything good. Always fuck it up,” he muttered, bashing his head back against the brick. He should have left Ellie with Preston and fucked off back to his life. She didn’t need his brand of crazy. She didn’t need the chaos tornado he brought with him every time he stepped into her world. He should have left her alone. 

But he couldn’t leave her alone. She was his little girl, his one precious, perfect thing. The only good thing he had ever done in a long line of fuck-ups and failures. She was his heart, and he couldn’t rip it out no matter how hard he tried. 

“Fuck this heart shit. Wish I could just get rid of it, not feel anything anymore,” he grumbled to himself as he slumped against the wall. “Maybe I could really give her what she wants, then.” Because he already knew he was going to go back. He could never leave her alone for too long, not Ellie. He would sneak into the tree in the backyard and watch her sleep. Make sure she was safe. Even if that meant safe from him.

“So, is hanging out in dark alleys in a pool of your own piss a normal thing for you, or is this a special occasion?” a voice asked from above him. Wade peered up to find a slim, 20-something in a graphic tee and ripped jeans. Wade’s world was swirling around him, but even in his current state, he could tell the guy was way more good-looking than anyone had a right to be. 

“Yes,” he answered, hoping it would be enough to make the probable-god walk away.

“Want to talk about it?” the figure persisted, and Wade was beginning to think maybe this guy was a hallucination bent on sobering him up. Maybe this was his conscience making one last ditch ever to drag him out of the depression spiral he was drowning in. But the joke was on him. Wade lived here now. Unloved and unworthy of it. Literal garbage.

“No.”

His growled rejection was followed by silence, long, soul-crushing silence. 

Wade was beginning to doze off, having almost forgotten there was a figment of his imagination bothering him when it spoke again. “So, done with that heart, are you? Can’t say I blame you with the nightmare you’d lived through.”

Wade’s head snapped up, a flash of clarity in a sea of booze. “What did you just say?” he asked, already reaching for the gun tucked into the back of his pants. “You don’t know anything about my life, fuckface. Fuck off before I make you.”

“Au contraire, Wade. I know your whole tragic backstory. Abusive daddy. Lied about your age and joined the military at sixteen. Got kicked out of Special Forces for erratic behavior. The mercenary work. The cancer. Weapon X. The long string of death and destruction that’s followed you since. Ellie.” This had to be a figment of his imagination. The little shit didn’t even flinch when Wade snapped to attention and pressed the barrel of a gun to his forehead, just kept spouting off the laundry list of Wade’s shitty life choices like he was reciting a recipe for strawberry pancakes.

Wade flinched at the sound of her name on his lips and shoved the muzzle harder into the smooth forehead, snarling, “How the fuck do you know all that?” He was tempted to pull the trigger without waiting for an answer, but if this asshole knew Ellie’s name, he probably knew more. And Wade had to know how.

The guy cocked his head with a little smirk, paying the gun pressed to his skin no mind. “Back in the land of the sober, huh? Good. I hate making deals with drunk people. Do you really not want that black heart of yours? Because I’ll take it off your hands if you do, and you don’t even have to pay me for the privilege.”

Wade could not believe what he was hearing. Rage pulled the trigger, rage and unbridled hatred for every sick fuck who had ever fucked with his life. The gun was loud in the tight quarters of the alley, but the sound was over quick enough to hear the clink of metal as the bullet fell to the pavement. When he glanced down, the bullet was flattened as if it had hit Kevlar, and the hallucination in front of him was unscathed. 

“So... about that heart?” the guy asked in a neutral tone, unfazed despite having been shot in the head.

Wade dropped the gun, some of the booze sloshing back through his brain and turning his vision blurry and his thoughts into a tornado. “What the fuck are you?” he asked. He had only ever met one person who could resist a bullet at point-blank range, and his bones were infused with adamantium. 

“Does it matter? You want to get rid of your heart. I am in the business of taking them off of people’s hands. Win-win, wouldn’t you say?” The guy held out a slim black card between two fingers, pointing it towards Wade in an indication for him to take it.

Wade took the card on autopilot, eyes flicking to the words etched onto the cardstock in thin, blood-red letters, though he couldn’t make sense of them. His brain was a squall of thoughts he couldn’t make sense of. He backed up until his back hit wet brick, pressing himself back until the snarled brick dug into his skin through his hoodie, hands clamped over his eyes as if he could will the hallucination away. Voices argued over each other in his head about whether or not the hallucination was real, whether or not Wade should agree to what was on offer, if only to get rid of the pain he was feeling. He had run out of reasons to live around the time Ellie told him to bounce, and twenty-five attempts to fuck off and die already hadn’t worked. 

_ What have you got to lose?, _ his brain asked. And Wade knew the answer. Nothing. There was nothing fucking left.

He looked into the possible figment of his imagination’s gorgeous brown eyes and said, “Sure. Why not?”

The being smiled, shining and mischievous and full of all the desire in the world and snapped his fingers. 

Instantly the weight of all his sorrow and sadness and self-loathing and joy and happiness and love and madness lifted from his shoulders, snapped away like a rubber band on a twelve-year-old’s finger gun. Wade collapsed under the weightlessness of the feeling left behind. Elation and joy surged through him, his mind clearing for the first time in maybe his whole life. He felt like he could have floated away if the sharp brick hadn’t snagged his hoodie to keep him grounded. 

He looked to the beautiful golden god who had taken that pain from him and smiled the first genuine, happy smile of his life. The god smiled back for just a moment before he blinked out of sight. 

As quickly as the elation came, it slipped away, too. In its place was a long silent void of nothing. 

If Wade could feel anything, he would have felt relief.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want writing updates from me, you can follow me on Twitter [@RonsPigwidgeon](https://twitter.com/RonsPigwidgeon), [Tumblr](https://mscaptainwinchester.tumblr.com/), [NewTumbl](https://mscaptainwinchester.newtumbl.com/), or [Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/MsCaptainWinchester).
> 
> And if you'd like to come yell about Spideypool with me, join the 18+ Discord server I co-mod, [Isn't It Bromantic](https://discord.gg/cfZEbNv)!


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